terrance ward || trauma (
traumatizing) wrote2028-06-13 06:15 am
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![]() You've reached Terry Ward. I'm not here right now, leave a message and I'll get back to you. | ||
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![]() You've reached Terry Ward. I'm not here right now, leave a message and I'll get back to you. | ||
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It's just... all these people, like friends and family and I know they're my friends and family but I don't recognize them. It's like a dream where you just accept it, but this keeps coming back and I think about them when I'm awake. And it all seems so normal, and from what I remember I was trying really hard to start dancing in musicals in London, but it was really hard. And I think about, if that's actually the life I'm supposed to have, isn't this... better? Why should I want to go back?
[He pauses, drifting off as his tone gets less convincing as he goes. He's not sure he does think this is better. Financially, maybe, and all those dreams he had can easily be fulfilled here, but with the way the label is treating them...]
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[Terry chews his lip, trying to think of the best way to say what's on his mind, and he sighs.]
There's nothing wrong with wanting this, it's just... Is this how you want it? You're scared all the time, Max. I can tell.
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But what if I go back and I can't make it again? I've had this now and it makes me happy. And I've had...
[He sighs, trying to stead his voice.]
What if you're not part of it? I don't even know how all of this works but you aren't there in any of my memories.
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[That last bit comes out with a huffed laugh, but it's not happy. He can't even imagine what a life without her constantly being a pain in the ass is like.]
[The look on his face is all at once tired and distressed, someone exhausted by the sheer weight of feeling this broken all the time. He combs his fingers through Maxxie's hair, trying to soothe the both of them just a little.]
I'll be honest, this is a lot fucking better than whatever life he-- Me-- I was living. But I can't live like this anymore either.
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[He pulls his head away to look up at Terry.]
If we try to leave they'll hurt us. Worse than they already do.
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[He shakes his head, frowning.] I wish I just knew what they want us for.
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I wanna know too, but I don't want you to get hurt trying to find out.
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Well you sent me that, uh... You sent Stella to me.
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I figured you'd need it more than me.
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You're probably right.
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You know I am.
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[Maxxie feels his face getting hot and he glances away.]
I didn't really get to say it back a couple days ago... but I, ah... I love you too.
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[Terry straight up doesn't remember saying it, and he looks a little confused, but he also can't ignore the way hearing it makes something in his chest feel like it's about to explode. But he frowns because wow what a thing to say in what must've been a totally unmemorable way.]
I mean-- I do. I really fucking do and it's kinda scary, because it's so fast and it's so strong, but I just. Don't remember saying it.
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You said you did when you decided to leave!
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Oh. "people I love." I guess you're one of those.
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What, is that different or something?
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I dunno, but I do know that I love you, so. [Shrug. NBD.]
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You're awful.
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But you love me. You can't take that back.
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I do.
[He pulls away with a grin.]
And you love me.
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[He trails off and shakes his head, trailing his fingers up Maxxie's back instead.] Never mind.
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What?
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[Terry sucks in a shaky breath, turning his head a little because he's fairly certain he's gonna get looked at when he says this and he doesn't want that.]
It's just not something I ever thought I'd hear.
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Well you have now, and I do mean it. You're probably the best thing that ever happened to me.
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