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[traumatizing]

PLAYER

✧ NAME: Simone
✧ LJ USERNAME: ration
✧ CONTACT :

AIM: BluePeterLadyboy
EMAIL: simmichan [@] gmail [.] com
PLURK: FiremanSam

✧ CURRENT MUSE LIST: N/A

CHARACTER

✧ NAME: Terrance Ward
✧ SERIES: Marvel comics (Avengers: The Initiative, specifically)
✧ HISTORY: le wiki
✧ TIMELINE: After A:TI issue 30, when Trauma leaves to ~find himself~
✧ PERSONALITY:

Trauma is a pretty standoffish customer. (No word of a lie, I counted - he smiles for a grand total of three panels throughout his run in the comic and spends most of the rest of it scowling or looking impassive.) He can be perfectly amiable and even downright friendly, but he does tend to put out the good ol' fashioned "don't talk to me" signals. Even when he does somehow end up in a conversation, he tends to stay a bit tight-lipped, preferring to absorb what the other person has to say and offer his opinion if/when he feels it's necessary rather than making inane - and probably stupid - comments all over the place.

Even though he looks like your average, run-of-the-mill emo kid, he does tend towards being a fair bit more mature and intelligent than one might guess. Being shoved into the Shadow Initiative and becoming a counsellor a good few years before he should reasonably have been able to will have that effect. He carries a lot of anger and resentment around- for all sorts of things. The world, his dad, that girl who turned him down in high school, his old friends, etc. But mostly it's all aimed at himself, for not keeping better control of his powers and/or not realising he couldn't control them and decide to seek help sooner. Or even really unreasonable stuff like not managing to pre-empt their manifestation somehow.

But he has come to learn that a lot of this is either an unreasonable amount of beating himself up or that he just can't carry it all around with him all the time every day for the rest of his life (which could end up being really fucking long, canon hasn't really explained anything about his whole "not dying for realsies" thing.)

All his anger, guilt and self-loathing has kind of come full-circle during his time in the Initiative. Though he's never really gotten over what happened with his family and friends, he did learn to accept that it happened and get on with things and even wilfully uses his powers as a therapy aid rather than just trying to suppress them and hoping that they'd go away or there'd be a 'cure' like he did before. Of course, agreeing to help Osborn and Hood keep all manner of people who shouldn't have been working Initiative recruits for any number of reasons (PTSD, being criminally insane, being the Hood's cronies, to name a few reasons) able to fight in exchange for his mother's health had a pretty detrimental effect on his mental health. As evidenced by the fact that it kind of, y'know, made him a conduit for Nightmare to pass through and try to fuck shit up.

So, yeah. There's definitely a pretty heavy dose of guilt there about going against his better judgement and messing with people's heads and probably getting a good few people killed or crippled as a result.

Generally speaking, he's quite easy-going. Save for a few special people, it doesn't seem to be particularly easy to get under his skin. And even though he generally looks pretty cranky, he also seems pretty mellow most of the time. That said, his temper has proven pretty short. Trauma probably likes to think of himself as someone who'll be smart about things, but when push comes to shove he tends to go running in, fists swinging. And he won't hesitate to go all fear-Hulk on people who push the right buttons. (Threatening his family was more'n likely the core reason for the animosity between him and Hood.)

Since fear is such a massive part of his life, it's probably important to note his biggest fear - that no one will ever care about him because of what he is. He's terrified by the idea of rejection or abandonment. Feeding into this is also a horrible fear of hurting the people closest to him. I mean, he doesn't want to unintentionally fear out on anyone, but given that all the people he's was closest to when his powers kicked in got the worst of it and he hasn't seen them since. Well, it makes sense he'd be worried about it all happening again, even if his control is infinitely better than it was back then. Being able to reconcile things with Abby (and parting amiably with Penance too, if you want to think about it that way) has given him a degree of hope for the future, but these things linger.

✧ ABILITIES/POWERS:

Long story short: Trauma's a boggart.

He can sense the fears of people around him and transform into them. The more intense a given fear is being felt at a given time, the easier it is for him to pick up on - to the extent that he can sense people's fears from quite a distance if they start freaking out enough. When he transforms he is pretty much exactly as the person's perception of their fear is. Like with Armory's arachnaphobia, he became a giant, grotesque spider (in a t-shirt?) The potential with a power like this is, clearly, quite big and quite dangerous, leading to Trauma having been branded an Omega Level Threat and shoved into the Shadow Initiative. (Though that said, almost every time he's tried to use his powers offensively in canon it lead to an epic beatdown-- He even died once!) It does fall short a bit, seeing as it doesn't really work at all on people who are immune to telepathy and anyone who's able to face their fears can fight back effectively enough.

He has, thanks to Mirage's tutelage, pretty much got a handle on his powers now - which is good for everyone - though they can fly out of control seeing as they don't really have an "off" switch or anything. People projecting their fears onto him can force him to transform - like in Secret Invasion, his team being worried that he was a Skrull kind of made him turn into one. And then get beaten up. That was a bad day.

Dear Mr. Ward is also immortal, thanks to his lineage. There isn't really a guideline for this, seeing as he's only died the once and he's not really keen to give it a second go. (For all he knows it may have only been a one time deal!) So there's not like... An average time between dying and waking up or anything - the first time might be the longest. Or the shortest. Though he did come back after embalming and all that, so it's a pretty darn resilient system he's got in there.

✧ TIME OF ARRIVAL: Night time would be good o7

✧ MASK DESIGN: I really wanted to give him a plague doctor mask, but that's just silly (and cumbersome!) I did, however, settle on this little ditty
✧ PLACE OF SOLACE: Camp Hammond

SAMPLES

✧ FIRST PERSON:

[There's nought but a heavy silence at first-- Anyone who knows Terry can probably picture him telling himself to hang up and that this is stupid like some kind of badly thought out reverse psychology.

Then there's a sharp inhalation at the point where one would probably have expected him to hang up, and he starts talking]

Hey-- Dad. It's Terry. Don't delete this yet, I wouldn't call if it wasn't important.

I. [...] I left the Initiative. I'm not explaining why, I just thought you should hear from me instead of anyone else, don't want you to think I'm about to go all crazy supervillain or anything, [The bitterness in his tone is almost palpable here - this is ridiculous] I probably owe you that much. Not that I expect them to really care enough to come looking for me-- though I guess I'm kind of a. Criminal. ... Now...

[trails off-- aaah shit he wasn't supposed to say that last bit out loud.]

--Anyway. I, uh...

[Silence. He hesitates a bit, wanting to add a bit more, maybe a proper goodbye? But he just hangs up instead. Why even pretend to be amiable about this mess anyway?]

I also have a few threads too, if that helps!

✧ THIRD PERSON:

Breathe in. Out. One step at a time. He'd get there soon enough.

... Wherever there was, anyway.

He had contemplated going back to Pittsfield, the idea of finding where Nightmare's cult was hiding out and bringing it down was, initially, incredibly tempting. More than contemplated it, in fact. For a good while he'd been dead set on finding this Karl guy to show him what he'd brought into this world. It'd be a lie if he said he hadn't thought about a dramatic monologue for the occasion and everything. He'd stand there and ask something that would be pointedly ridiculous in any other situation - if he was proud. If this was the glory of Nightmare he'd been praying for.

Thankfully for his dignity, he decided against it. He'd never been one for speeches anyway and everything he could think of was hammy and lacked genre appropriateness in a way that rivalled The Room. Revenge was hardly the best thing for a Journey of Self Discovery anyhow, and he was a little doubtful that it would be as fulfilling as he liked to think (which was really fucking fulfilling.)

Trauma frowned as he worked his way through his drink - a chocolate-peanutbutter milkshake, which was hardly the manly or dramatic drink people would have on this kind of journey, but it did manage to satisfy all sorts of cravings he didn't even know he had. It was totally worth it, even if it made him look like a fifteen year-old and made one well-meaning-but-annoying old lady ask if his parents had left him here alone. - he really had no idea what to do with himself.

What he really wanted to do was find Doctor Strange - he'd clashed with Nightmare before, right? - but finding out where he was was proving to be more than a little difficult. The accepted method seemed to be that Doctor Strange found you instead. Maybe right now wasn't even the best time with all this Osborne business going on.

He sighed - a nice, big, laborious sigh as if to let everyone in earshot know that he was not having a Good Time - and got up to pay his bill. Maybe he'd figure out what to do between here and the next stop.

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